The Lord of the Pants

Post by **Hurin** » Sat Jan 24, 2009 1:08 am

"Do as I say!" said Gandalf fiercely. "Pants are no more use here. Go!."

Post by **solicitr** » Sat Jan 24, 2009 2:52 am

But I shall take the Pants of the Dead, alone if needs be.

Post by **ToshoftheWuffingas** » Sat Jan 24, 2009 3:03 am

But still Aragorn was driven by fear that pants were too short.

Post by **River** » Sat Jan 24, 2009 6:08 am

I have never been out of my own pants before.

Post by **Elentári** » Sat Jan 24, 2009 10:09 am

He lifted Pippin gently and carried him back to his bed. Merry followed, and sat down beside him. 'Lie there and rest, if you can, Pippin!' said Gandalf. 'Trust me. If you feel an itch in your pants again, tell me of it! Such things can be cured...

...'Pants come in the night when least expected,' he said. 'We have had a narrow escape!'

OMG, it's amazing how easily Tokien can be undermined by changing one little word...

Post by **yovargas** » Sat Jan 24, 2009 4:22 pm

Elentári wrote:He lifted Pippin gently and carried him back to his bed. Merry followed, and sat down beside him. 'Lie there and rest, if you can, Pippin!' said Gandalf. 'Trust me. If you feel an itch in your pants again, tell me of it! Such things can be cured...

Oh, I think that's my favorite so far.

(Imagine Gandalf in a commercial for jock itch remedies and you'll sed why.

)

Post by **ToshoftheWuffingas** » Sat Jan 24, 2009 4:53 pm

Excellent!
And River's too!

Do not meddle in the pants of Wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.

Post by **Elentári** » Sat Jan 24, 2009 10:55 pm

Excellent, Tosh!

"Now look here, Sir!"
He turned, facing up to Faramir with all the courage that he could muster.
"Don't you go taking advantage of my master because his servant's
no better than a fool.
You've spoken very handsome all along, put me off my guard,
talking of Elves and all.
But handsome is as handsome does we say.
Now's a chance to show your pants."

Post by **ArathornJax** » Sat Jan 24, 2009 11:31 pm

From The Hobbit:

"If more of us valued food and cheer and pants over hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."

and of course Bilbo at the Battle of Five Armies:

"The Pants, the pants! The pants are coming!"

and

"A crack had opened at the back of the pants, and was already a wide passage."

Post by **Elentári** » Sun Jan 25, 2009 1:23 pm

LOL!

"Well, it is the first time that even a mouse has crept along carefully and quietly under my very nose and not been spotted," said Balin, "and I take off my pants to you." Which he did.

Post by **Elentári** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 6:12 pm

Come on, Folks, don't give up yet, there's load more fun to be had!

This is a subtle one...

"Pardon me," he said, "if I have overheard words that you were saying. I don't pretend to understand what you are talking about, or your reference to pants, but I think I am right in believing" (this is what he called being on his dignity) "that you think I am no good."

or

His stomach felt all empty and loose and his legs all wobbly, now that the excitement was over. "Can't help it," said Gandalf, "unless you like to go back and ask the goblins nicely to let you have your pants back and your luggage."

Post by **solicitr** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 6:19 pm

It's been advanced by some scholars that Tolkien's principal medieval inspiration for The Hobbit was the old Irish poetic legend, "The Panty-Raid of Cooley."

Post by **Frelga** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 6:25 pm

As before, Sam found that his hearing was sharpened, but that to his sight the pants of this world seemed thin and vague.

Tue Jan 27, 2009 7:02 pm

Forgive me.

And still she thristed, and going to the Pants of Varda she drank them dry

Post by **ToshoftheWuffingas** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 7:06 pm

As the old Ent approached, the trees lifted up their pants, and all their leaves quivered and rustled.

Post by **Elentári** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 7:47 pm

And still she thristed, and going to the Pants of Varda she drank them dry

or should that be

?

"Well, er, I thought, don't you know," said Bilbo rather confused, "that, er, some little return should be made for your, er, pants. I mean even a burglar has his feelings..."

Post by **Rowanberry** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 5:52 pm

Another one from the Sil:

Then Túrin strode to Brodda's table, and seizing him he drew his pants, and demanded that he be told whither Morwen had gone; and Aerin declared to him that she went to Doriath to seek her son.

Post by **Elentári** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 6:13 pm

Tulkas:

His hair and beard are golden, and his flesh ruddy; his weapons are his pants.

Post by **Dave_LF** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 8:38 pm

'It's warm!' said Sam. 'Meaning your pants, Mr. Frodo."

I just realized that my last one is better this way:

Out of doubt, out of dark to the day's rising I came singing in the pants