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I'm not sure if this particular instance struck me as inappropriate because it hits close to home; maybe. I am that middle-aged woman, and I don't often wear lipstick. I don't think it follows that good "judgment" on my hubby's part would be to go find someone who is younger and does wear makeup. I don't really think I should be out shopping for a younger man, either. I think that sort of thing would be a bad decision, overall.
But I really do think it's a broader reaction than that.
Example. I was hanging out with mr. anth's family at some gathering or another, and my sister-in-law, a rich white woman who married a wealthy lawyer 25 years ago and who has not worked a day since, said "you want to hear a joke"?
Yeah, sure. I like jokes.
She said "How doe the illegal immigrants get their Christmas pictures taken? They run a red light".
![Shocked :shock:](./images/smilies/icon_eek.gif)
![Shocked :shock:](./images/smilies/icon_eek.gif)
![Shocked :shock:](./images/smilies/icon_eek.gif)
I guess the yuk factor here had to do with the pictures which are automatically taken when someone runs a red light. I get it. It's kind of clever, actually, but it is seriously not funny.
I walked out of the room.
Okay, so afterwards (for months afterward, actually) I was told by several people that I needed to "get a grip", that it's all in fun. Once again the group bemoaned my "liberal" tendencies (OH yeah, the "other" label gets slapped on me quite a bit, as well.)
So my sis-in-law took me aside later and told me that I had embarrassed her by walking out, that I was "making a big deal" out of something that was supposed to be a joke, darn it. Where was my sense of humor? My self-righteous behavior had ruined everyone's fun.
I told her that I thought it wasn't funny in the least, and making fun of people too poor to buy Christmas pictures didn't seem too Christian a reaction, to me. (I get to play the Christ card with these guys, it's great.)
It was also more than slightly a racist comment. But they will never see that.
.....
(I am not equating Lord M's "joke" to this one, btw. I think most people on this board, and most of the people I would choose to hang out with, would NEVER "go there" like this "joke" did. It's just an example of how a "joke" can just seriously not be funny.)
....
So, I'm not a poor immigrant, so it's not like I can really relate personally to the "truth" that there are extremely poor people out there, trying to keep it together. I just have a lot of empathy for them.
So I got in trouble for reacting negatively to that "joke", too. I didn't yell, I didn't drag in a soapbox, I just left.
I just didn't want to be in the same room with those words hanging in the air.
![Help :help:](./images/smilies/help_3.gif)