Prayer Thread
This is a matter of prayer but also a safe place for me to say this. I do not want to go to church, and it's been that way for a while. I'm fine hanging out with all of the people from church. I'm really enjoying our Thursday night Growth Group (like a small group/Bible study). We have people coming over to our house every Friday night after softball to have "S'mores with the Moores." (Aren't we clever? 
) I enjoy the times that I do other things with my church family.
But I begin dreading Sunday morning every Saturday night.
We had a big change in the music ministry that was painful to all of us in the "old" band. (I know I discussed it here already.) I'm part of the "new" band, but I don't know. I enjoy rehearsals; I enjoy playing the music during the worship service. But I am just dealing with something here that I either quite haven't figured out or that I don't want to admit yet (and deal with the consequences).
So please pray, if you think of it.
) I enjoy the times that I do other things with my church family.But I begin dreading Sunday morning every Saturday night.
We had a big change in the music ministry that was painful to all of us in the "old" band. (I know I discussed it here already.) I'm part of the "new" band, but I don't know. I enjoy rehearsals; I enjoy playing the music during the worship service. But I am just dealing with something here that I either quite haven't figured out or that I don't want to admit yet (and deal with the consequences).
So please pray, if you think of it.
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Impenitent
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I will be praying for you, Lali. Is there any way you can move to another church?
To tell you the truth, I feel sad hearing you dread going to church because of the change happening. I feel your pain. I used to go to a parish just a stone throw away from my home but I feel that everytime I go there I don't feel at peace because I don't like the new parish priest's personality, bossing people around, telling us we can't have our youth meetings at the church anymore (in order to save electricity, he said, yeah sure *rolls eyes*), screaming and having fights with parishoners, really terrible.... all the time after hearing mass I always find fault with him, I swear even the way he gives the "host" I feel like he just throws it at me. I get out of church so angry I want to scream, to think, I should feel calm and relaxed after hearing mass. So I decided to just canvass churches in the whole city where I feel comfortable. I found one which is a 30-45 minute drive from my place. Imagine that! I just live a skip and hop away from church and here I am driving all the way to the other end of the city to hear mass. For me, it's a sacrifice I am willing to take for my peace of mind cause I can't go on getting upset every Sunday. I miss my friends and everybody at the old church but I made new friends at the new one. In fact, the other parishoners were dissappointed that I left but when I told them the truth, they all agreed with me that the priest is not the type who should lead a parish. He is a good bible scholar (gives good homilies) but he has no people skills at all.
“Lawyers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished.” - Jeremy Bentham (1748 - 1832)
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Primula Baggins
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Lali, . That's hard when your church home changes to something that isn't really home any more. I do know what that's like. Sometimes it's a passing thing. Sometimes it's a permanent change of direction. But it's always painful.
I hope you'll be able to find your way back home, there or somewhere else. Your gifts and work ethic deserve to be respected and welcomed.
(I also have a lurking suspicion that you might be happy in a place where women are respected as equal partners in the business and community of the church, as they were in ancient times. And where you could lead the music ministry if that seemed right, and at least be a voice that's listened to, whose input and ideas are considered. Just sayin'.)
I'll be praying for things to come right.
. That's hard when your church home changes to something that isn't really home any more. I do know what that's like. Sometimes it's a passing thing. Sometimes it's a permanent change of direction. But it's always painful.I hope you'll be able to find your way back home, there or somewhere else. Your gifts and work ethic deserve to be respected and welcomed.
(I also have a lurking suspicion that you might be happy in a place where women are respected as equal partners in the business and community of the church, as they were in ancient times. And where you could lead the music ministry if that seemed right, and at least be a voice that's listened to, whose input and ideas are considered. Just sayin'.)
I'll be praying for things to come right.
“There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King
Ugh. I am heartbroken tonight! 
A friend committed suicide today and just died from his injuries. He was estranged from his wife and couldn't handle it, I guess. He, his wife, and their little boy used to attend our church before moving to North Carolina. Their little boy is super cute, and I just saw him and his dad a few weeks ago. They were here for a visit. You could tell he was struggling and so sad. He became a Christian just a few months ago.
I was messing with the little boy, Aiden, when he was here. He was bored, being only about 6 or 7. He is also going deaf, so he was sitting near us in the deaf section. (We don't sit in the deaf section, but we sit catty-corner behind them.) Anyway, Aiden was bored and was peeking over the chair trying to get someone to notice him. Well, I'm often bored in church, too, so I happily began making faces at him. That went on for quite a while. Freddy joined in, too.
Then Aiden began signing "no" to me. I threw him for a loop when I signed back to him "yes." And then I signed "stop!" (I was smiling the whole time.) So he started signing to me "you stop" and to Freddy "yes." He wanted Freddy to keep making faces but, apparently, I was not supposed to be signing to him. Freddy and I just giggled.
Now his dad is gone.
What a waste!!!!
A friend committed suicide today and just died from his injuries. He was estranged from his wife and couldn't handle it, I guess. He, his wife, and their little boy used to attend our church before moving to North Carolina. Their little boy is super cute, and I just saw him and his dad a few weeks ago. They were here for a visit. You could tell he was struggling and so sad. He became a Christian just a few months ago. I was messing with the little boy, Aiden, when he was here. He was bored, being only about 6 or 7. He is also going deaf, so he was sitting near us in the deaf section. (We don't sit in the deaf section, but we sit catty-corner behind them.) Anyway, Aiden was bored and was peeking over the chair trying to get someone to notice him. Well, I'm often bored in church, too, so I happily began making faces at him. That went on for quite a while. Freddy joined in, too.
Then Aiden began signing "no" to me. I threw him for a loop when I signed back to him "yes." And then I signed "stop!" (I was smiling the whole time.) So he started signing to me "you stop" and to Freddy "yes." He wanted Freddy to keep making faces but, apparently, I was not supposed to be signing to him. Freddy and I just giggled.
Now his dad is gone.
What a waste!!!!
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Voronwë the Faithful
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Primula Baggins
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Oh, Lali! That's just tragic. And with a little boy and his mother hurt, too. I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.“There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King
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WampusCat
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That is terribly sad, Lali. The family will be in my prayers, as well as you and others who have been touched by them. What terrible despair he must have been feeling...and what pain it sends out for years to come.
I just now saw your previous post also. I'm in somewhat of the same position; uncharacteristically unenthusiastic about church right now. I love the people and the leadership at my church, but lately I find the music painful, the sermons shallow and the relationships insincere. I find much more spiritual nourishment these days from solitary reading and prayer, participation in a small group with a few friends from other denominations/faiths, and talks with my spiritual director.
So take what I say with whatever grain of salt it deserves.
That said, my advice is to turn the greater part of your time and energy toward whatever brings you joy and deepens your awareness of God's presence at this point in your life. If you do that, you'll grow deeper in faith whether in that church or in another or perhaps in a "church" that is entirely different from what you think of church as being.
This isn't a self-centered spirituality, not if you keep trying to draw close to God and remain attentive to ways your talents and compassion can serve others.
Give God the freedom to create something new in you -- rather than trying to force God into the box that always seemed right before.
I do hope this makes a little sense. I'm a bit tired and woolly-brained.
I just now saw your previous post also. I'm in somewhat of the same position; uncharacteristically unenthusiastic about church right now. I love the people and the leadership at my church, but lately I find the music painful, the sermons shallow and the relationships insincere. I find much more spiritual nourishment these days from solitary reading and prayer, participation in a small group with a few friends from other denominations/faiths, and talks with my spiritual director.
So take what I say with whatever grain of salt it deserves.
That said, my advice is to turn the greater part of your time and energy toward whatever brings you joy and deepens your awareness of God's presence at this point in your life. If you do that, you'll grow deeper in faith whether in that church or in another or perhaps in a "church" that is entirely different from what you think of church as being.
This isn't a self-centered spirituality, not if you keep trying to draw close to God and remain attentive to ways your talents and compassion can serve others.
Give God the freedom to create something new in you -- rather than trying to force God into the box that always seemed right before.
I do hope this makes a little sense. I'm a bit tired and woolly-brained.
Take my hand, my friend. We are here to walk one another home.
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Primula Baggins
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Your words sound pretty sensible (and wise) to me, Wampus.
Lali, I also think that if you are putting yourself in alignment with what God's pushing you toward (which means not struggling against it), you will end up in a good place for yourself and the use of your gifts. Though sometimes it feels like letting the rip tide take you and watching everything familiar recede. . . .
Lali, I also think that if you are putting yourself in alignment with what God's pushing you toward (which means not struggling against it), you will end up in a good place for yourself and the use of your gifts. Though sometimes it feels like letting the rip tide take you and watching everything familiar recede. . . .
“There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King
A wooly brained Wampus has more wisdom than I do on a good day!
Thank you all. 
Wampus, that is amazingly good advice (not that I'm amazed that you had that advice to give). I am going to contemplate on that. And Prim's advice, too. And Teremia's.
An idea is forming in my head that this summer is sort of a make or break thing with this church. Unless the church collapses (which is a possibility, given the dwindling membership and finances), I can't see leaving this church officially, not as a family anyway. My girls have deep friendships there, particularly Katie. It would be terrible for her if I made that connection disappear.
But I wonder if I'll feel some sort of release form responsibilities or obligations at the end of this summer. My responsibilities have diminished tremendously anyway, which is good but has been hard at times too. It's strange that all of the other band members have been released from the band obligation except me, so we'll see how that goes.
Anyway, I'm thinking and praying. If I could just manage to find a day alone that would be so helpful. (I've been whining about that for awhile now, and I still haven't gotten it!)
Wampus, that is amazingly good advice (not that I'm amazed that you had that advice to give). I am going to contemplate on that. And Prim's advice, too. And Teremia's.
An idea is forming in my head that this summer is sort of a make or break thing with this church. Unless the church collapses (which is a possibility, given the dwindling membership and finances), I can't see leaving this church officially, not as a family anyway. My girls have deep friendships there, particularly Katie. It would be terrible for her if I made that connection disappear.
But I wonder if I'll feel some sort of release form responsibilities or obligations at the end of this summer. My responsibilities have diminished tremendously anyway, which is good but has been hard at times too. It's strange that all of the other band members have been released from the band obligation except me, so we'll see how that goes.
Anyway, I'm thinking and praying. If I could just manage to find a day alone that would be so helpful. (I've been whining about that for awhile now, and I still haven't gotten it!)
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JewelSong
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I'd like to ask for prayers for my nephew and his wife. The got married last February and she got pregnant almost immediately (to no one's surprise.) She miscarried at about 2 months and I thought that it was a blessing in disguise. The two of them are in no way prepared for a baby, or for any kind of responsibility. My nephew has been addicted to crystal meth, dabbled in heroin and now drinks constantly...his latest addiction is unfortunately legal. He "runs" a Tai Kwan Do studio that my brother (his father) helped him buy...and the business is failing. Nephew is a nice enough kid, but there is something not really connected about him. He lived with my oldest brother for a while when he was getting off the meth. This brother tried his best to help nephew to focus and see the bigger picture, but nephew just...well, he thinks in a very concrete and narrow way.
They had this huge lavish wedding (my brother is quite well-off) but almost everyone in the family views the marriage as a train wreck...a very slow-moving train wreck, but inexorable as train wrecks always are.
Nephew's wife is now pregnant again. She is a nice enough girl, but almost completely devoid of any personality. (Seriously...I know everyone has a personality, but this girl's is buried way deep!) They live in a house that I am sure my brother helped them buy...it is filled with empty pizza boxes, liquor bottles, nephew's dead-beat friends and three large dogs that sit in their cages and bark.
I know both of them are legally "adults" and I know nothing can really be done besides watch the train crash (slowly) but now there is going to be a baby added to the chaos and I'd like to ask for whatever prayers you can send.
They had this huge lavish wedding (my brother is quite well-off) but almost everyone in the family views the marriage as a train wreck...a very slow-moving train wreck, but inexorable as train wrecks always are.
Nephew's wife is now pregnant again. She is a nice enough girl, but almost completely devoid of any personality. (Seriously...I know everyone has a personality, but this girl's is buried way deep!) They live in a house that I am sure my brother helped them buy...it is filled with empty pizza boxes, liquor bottles, nephew's dead-beat friends and three large dogs that sit in their cages and bark.
I know both of them are legally "adults" and I know nothing can really be done besides watch the train crash (slowly) but now there is going to be a baby added to the chaos and I'd like to ask for whatever prayers you can send.
"Live! Live! Live! Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!" - Auntie Mame
