The History of the Silmarils - a serialization

A forum for our members to collaborate on scripts adapted from Tolkien's works, patterned on the massive LOTR screenplay authored by ToshoftheWuffingas.
Post Reply
Passdagas the Brown
Posts: 3154
Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2013 9:31 pm

Post by Passdagas the Brown »

An excellent episode. And I love Maedhros' "that is all we ever had" as well as his calmly removing Maglor's hand from his tunic. Just perfect script-writing there, to be honest. I would die to see some of this stuff on film.

Two tiny, tiny suggestions. Instead of silver tears rolling down Galadriel's face, I would have her with a film of tears in her eyes, but controlled enough to keep them from falling. Seems to be more in character. Also, it doesn't feel right that Celeborn would fold his hand into hers while her attitude at that point is a spirit of defiance. Not that she wouldn't appreciate the gesture, but Celeborn would know that in her defiance, she is not (yet) looking for sympathy or consolation. That should come later (and IMO, off-screen or not in public).
Last edited by Passdagas the Brown on Wed Jan 08, 2014 7:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Elentári
Posts: 5199
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2009 6:03 pm
Location: Green Hill Country

Post by Elentári »

Thank you. :)

Celeborn's action wasn't meant to be read as a prominent gesture of solidarity in her defiance, more a comforting touch, perhaps hidden by their robes, but as you say, possibly better left out.

Great points, thanks - I shall adopt them forthwith! :)
There is magic in long-distance friendships. They let you relate to other human beings in a way that goes beyond being physically together and is often more profound.
~Diana Cortes
Passdagas the Brown
Posts: 3154
Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2013 9:31 pm

Post by Passdagas the Brown »

Great. And I have to admit that my "armchair film-maker" heart got really excited reading this episode. And I am not an excitable fellow! As such, I will use an emoticon that I never, ever use to describe my feelings about something: :love:

Makes me want to start a Kickstarter campaign to get a fan film made!
User avatar
Elentári
Posts: 5199
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2009 6:03 pm
Location: Green Hill Country

Post by Elentári »

Aw shucks! You're too kind... Image


So...the end is in sight, once again.

I've got the concluding scenes for Maedhros and Maglor almost straight, which I feel, at the moment, should run straight on from where I've got to so far with them stealing the jewels and opening the casket.

I could end the episode there, of course, since that would be the actual end of the of the Silmarils, but I have some other scenes in the preliminary stages that I thought might be interesting to include.

For example,
- the Twins make their choices to be Eldar or Edain,
- Galadriel and Finarfin explore her reasons for refusing the pardon, etc.
- Ereinion explains to Finarfin why he is staying in M-e
- even Círdan could have a little moment which I think would end the episode nicely, but I won't give that away yet

All this would tie most of the loose ends up, but may come across as a little "bitty".

Any thoughts or suggestions on those ideas, or for anything I should cover which I haven't thought of yet?
There is magic in long-distance friendships. They let you relate to other human beings in a way that goes beyond being physically together and is often more profound.
~Diana Cortes
User avatar
Voronwë the Faithful
At the intersection of here and now
Posts: 46591
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2005 1:41 am
Contact:

Post by Voronwë the Faithful »

I agree that all of those things should be covered, and possibly Elros and the remainder of the Edain being given the gift of Númenor?
"Spirits in the shape of hawks and eagles flew ever to and from his halls; and their eyes could see to the depths of the seas, and pierce the hidden caverns beneath the world."
User avatar
Elentári
Posts: 5199
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2009 6:03 pm
Location: Green Hill Country

Post by Elentári »

Oooh...I hadn't thought that far ahead...would be nice to try and get a mention in somehow. That was one of the things bothering me, actually - how to make the Twins' choices believable/relatable, when we've not seen much of them as adults - how do they come to their choices?
There is magic in long-distance friendships. They let you relate to other human beings in a way that goes beyond being physically together and is often more profound.
~Diana Cortes
Passdagas the Brown
Posts: 3154
Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2013 9:31 pm

Post by Passdagas the Brown »

I'm fine with the concept of all these additional scenes. And please include that Círdan scene - he's one of my favorite mysterious characters in the mythology. Plus, scenes by the sea are always great (unless done by a ROTK-era Peter Jackson) :)
User avatar
Elentári
Posts: 5199
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2009 6:03 pm
Location: Green Hill Country

Post by Elentári »

Voronwë the Faithful wrote:I agree that all of those things should be covered, and possibly Elros and the remainder of the Edain being given the gift of Númenor?
I'm thinking that the announcement of the creation of the island of Andor should have been made at the same time as the revoking of the Noldor's Ban...that way Elros would have something to be thinking about, which would have possible influence on his choice.

I'll come up with a couple of lines to add into the scene...
There is magic in long-distance friendships. They let you relate to other human beings in a way that goes beyond being physically together and is often more profound.
~Diana Cortes
User avatar
Elentári
Posts: 5199
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2009 6:03 pm
Location: Green Hill Country

Post by Elentári »

Another small segment up for your consideration and suggested alterations!

:)
There is magic in long-distance friendships. They let you relate to other human beings in a way that goes beyond being physically together and is often more profound.
~Diana Cortes
User avatar
Voronwë the Faithful
At the intersection of here and now
Posts: 46591
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2005 1:41 am
Contact:

Post by Voronwë the Faithful »

Beautiful!
"Spirits in the shape of hawks and eagles flew ever to and from his halls; and their eyes could see to the depths of the seas, and pierce the hidden caverns beneath the world."
User avatar
Elentári
Posts: 5199
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2009 6:03 pm
Location: Green Hill Country

Post by Elentári »

:)

Thanks. Sometimes the scenes don't look much on the page, but hopefully you can all visualize the potential!

I should think one last instalment should do it, hopefully sometime over the weekend...
There is magic in long-distance friendships. They let you relate to other human beings in a way that goes beyond being physically together and is often more profound.
~Diana Cortes
Passdagas the Brown
Posts: 3154
Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2013 9:31 pm

Post by Passdagas the Brown »

:bow: :bow: :bow: :bow:
:bow: :bow: :bow: :bow:
:bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: :sunny:
:bow: :bow: :bow: :bow:
:bow: :bow: :bow: :bow:
User avatar
Elentári
Posts: 5199
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2009 6:03 pm
Location: Green Hill Country

Post by Elentári »

Image

Weirdly I'm more embarrassed than when you guys are being critical!!
There is magic in long-distance friendships. They let you relate to other human beings in a way that goes beyond being physically together and is often more profound.
~Diana Cortes
Passdagas the Brown
Posts: 3154
Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2013 9:31 pm

Post by Passdagas the Brown »

:love: :clap: :cheerleader: :drummer: :clap: :cheers: :foryou: :thumbsup:
User avatar
Voronwë the Faithful
At the intersection of here and now
Posts: 46591
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2005 1:41 am
Contact:

Post by Voronwë the Faithful »

I tried to find something critical to say. Really I did.

:hug: (Don't say it, PtB)
"Spirits in the shape of hawks and eagles flew ever to and from his halls; and their eyes could see to the depths of the seas, and pierce the hidden caverns beneath the world."
Passdagas the Brown
Posts: 3154
Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2013 9:31 pm

Post by Passdagas the Brown »

I won't.

And likewise. I dug and dug and dug and just couldn't find anything. It's certainly a favorite episode of mine.
User avatar
Elentári
Posts: 5199
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2009 6:03 pm
Location: Green Hill Country

Post by Elentári »

:) Wait till you see the final instalment - it's a real stonker!
There is magic in long-distance friendships. They let you relate to other human beings in a way that goes beyond being physically together and is often more profound.
~Diana Cortes
User avatar
Voronwë the Faithful
At the intersection of here and now
Posts: 46591
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2005 1:41 am
Contact:

Post by Voronwë the Faithful »

No it isn't. :) And I approve of my ending.

The one question I have (and I am not sure) is whether Elros would speak to Elrond of the Music. Not sure if I think that is right or not.
"Spirits in the shape of hawks and eagles flew ever to and from his halls; and their eyes could see to the depths of the seas, and pierce the hidden caverns beneath the world."
User avatar
Elentári
Posts: 5199
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2009 6:03 pm
Location: Green Hill Country

Post by Elentári »

I'm still fiddling with your end! ;) It's never finished until it's finished!

I can see what you mean about "the Music" - can you think of a different way to express what I was trying to say about Elrond already being more in touch with his Elven heritage, and knowing what is "meant to be" (ie his gift of foresight)
Last edited by Elentári on Sun Jan 12, 2014 8:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
There is magic in long-distance friendships. They let you relate to other human beings in a way that goes beyond being physically together and is often more profound.
~Diana Cortes
User avatar
Voronwë the Faithful
At the intersection of here and now
Posts: 46591
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2005 1:41 am
Contact:

Post by Voronwë the Faithful »

I'll look forward to seeing my evolving end. After all, "in the armour of Fate (as the Children of Earth name it) there is ever a rift, and in the walls of Doom a breach, until the full-making, which ye call the End."
"Spirits in the shape of hawks and eagles flew ever to and from his halls; and their eyes could see to the depths of the seas, and pierce the hidden caverns beneath the world."
Post Reply